Evo jedna lepa lezbejska priča. Koga ne mrzi neka pročita intervju. Sve je moguće kada postoje ljubav, vera i nada.
Mother Gro
Although some believe that she should not have children, the handball player Gro Hammerseng has never been happier. Here is the first big interview she has given after she became pregnant.
It was summer and Gro Hammerseng was secretly pregnant. Eight weeks on the the way. Few weeks earlier she had discovered it herself. Nothing showed yet, and only the very, very closest knew about the one growing in her tummy. Then the phone rang. It was VG. Gro didn't pick up. But then the phone rang again. And again - and again. When VG rang for the tenth time in a few hours this beautiful summer day Gro realized why: They knew she was pregnant. But how on earth could they know already?
- At first I got paranoid. How could they know? Then I got sad. Not even this I would have to have for myself.
Handball star and media favorite Gro Hammerseng is used to all wanting a piece of her. So when the VG journalists got a tip that Gro was pregnant with her girlfriend Anja Edin, it must have been chaos all around in the newsroom. Beloved lesbian athlete pregnant - clear the front page! Gro, however, got a stomach ache.
-I was not ready to tell everyone that I was pregnant yet. My friends did not know it. I would wait until I was sure it went well with the child.
Now she can say it: It goes very well. Under the big sweater one can clearly see the bump on her stomach. Gro is well over halfway through the pregnancy. She has felt the first kicks and seen the baby on ultrasound. She will not reveal the sex, but all looks normal. Gro is ready to talk.
-To put it in sport language, how does it feel?
-It 's weird.
-Weird?
-All the changes. The body is amazing. The way it works. I am amazed that there is a little person growing inside me. I have found new respect for what the female body can achieve.
That's the words of a happy woman. Newborn and high on nature. Gro is in good shape. She doesen't fall asleep everywhere anymore. During her photo shoot she rightly was on the edge of fainting standing on top of a puff. But after a smoothie her body was back on track again.
-I am so pleased that I finally got real belly. So far I've only felt flabby. It's just kinda been a little extra fat in the front there, says Gro and laughs the trilling laughter that is so typical of her.
-Already there are many who have felt it quite natural to put their hands on my stomach. Especially men. What kind of behavior is that?Does any girl want people to touch their fat?
-You're not used to having that much belly fat, are you?
-No. Sometimes I miss being fit and firm. I was training with the Larvik girls the other day and was sitting in the dressing room afterwards looking at all the well-trained bodies. I do not mean that I have decayed totally, but my body is definitely something completely different than before. It's not every day I feel too great. Luckily I have people around me who are good at giving me complements.
-Do you mean your girlfriend?
Pause. A shy smile, then a muted:
-Yes.
We are at a sore point. Her lovelife.
Gro has no trouble telling that she is a lesbian. She is past the time when she felt that her sexual orientation got too much attention. That she is gay is the most natural thing in the world, so she talks about it. That she fell in love with a girl, that she realized that she definitely was not heterosexual. Many were probably surprised that the second-oldest of the four Hammerseng-siblings, the largest handball talent in Gjøvik, pretty Gro that many of the guys had a crush on, was a lesbian. But Gro never felt shame. She waited before she told friends and family. But it was not hard when she did. She was met with warmth and understanding. And since Gro has been a relationship girl. She has few and short periods as single. It was a week between the previous relationship with Katja Nyberg and her current girlfriend, Anja Edin. According to TV2 that is.
-No, no, no, says Gro. Her cheeks have more color now.
In the spring of 2010 she announced the breakup with Katja in a public statement.
-It is absurd that we did that. Our private life should not be that interesting. But we felt it was easiest to do it that way to try to reduce some of punch from the media.
The break up was a fact. Five years of cohabitation was over. Then Gro read on tekst-TC that she had a new girlfriend.
-I was shocked!
It was written black on white, "Gro has found love with Anja Edin. They're a couple. "
-That was not true.
Well. Gro had a very good eye for Anja at the time.
-But I did not have a girlfriend. Anja and I had not even been on a real date. It was a long way before we were to ask eachother, "are we a couple now?". The whole thing was incredibly uncomfortable. I was afraid Anja would get cold feet and leave, and I was sad when I thought of Katja.
Gro has much conscience. She may be lying awake at night, when such things happen. Often she has a bad feeling in her body after interviews like this. She is afraid of hurting the people she loves, and she is afraid to get too personal.
-The fact that Anja and I were a theme in the media even before we were together, could have ruined everything for us. It is a process to get together with someone, but we had to skip many of the phases. That's why I'm still restrictive to talk about our relationship. I need to set clear boundaries.
-What is it with Anja you fell for?
Gro laughs. She does that every time she is asked about her girlfriend. Then she gets quiet and thinks carefully trough what to say before answering.
-It felt just exactly right. It did so very, very fast.
-Under one year later you are pregnant?
-Because it felt so right, there was no reason to wait. I also have never taken it for granted that it is easy to have children. It could have been a long and difficult process. Fortunately it was not for us.
-Did you discuss who would be pregnant?
-I don't want to talk on Anja's behalf, but I wanted to be pregnant. I think it's incredibly exciting to experience this. So I was always aware that I wanted to bear the child.
-Can't you say anything about how you became pregnant?
-Not beyond that it is Anja and I who will have a child together. It goes without saying that we had to have some help, so we have provided. But more than that I don't think is right to say.
-Who will be "Mamma"?
-We have talked about that, and we have found a solution that works for us. But it was not the easiest decision.
-Both wanted to be "Mamma"?
-No comment.
From time to time Gro wishes she had a manual for lesbians mothers. There are so many strange problems. When heterosexual couples declare "we are going to have a baby" they get congratulations. Gro and Anja got the question "how?" followed by "with whom?". Therefore it wasn't just that Gro Hammerseng was pregnant that stood in the press release the couple sent out this summer. It was also specified that she would have children with Anja.
-There are many settings where I have speculated on what is the best solution. Fortunately, we know many lesbians couples who have been through something similar, so we get good advice from them. I am not sad when we get a book by the midwife that says "to Mom and Dad", or when Anja told to sit in the daddy chair when I'm examined. But I notice that we have not come that far in this area yet. Our little family will probably have to face many unexpected challenges in the years to come.
-What will you say when your child asks why it has two mothers?
-Then I'll be honest and answer. I think all parents have a fear that their child will be bullied. And I understand that my child has a greater risk of being exposed to that. It hurts to think about, but we will deal with it. I think you can come far by talking together and be open.
When Gro Hammerseng becomes a mom in February, it is a 14-year-old dream that comes true. Already as a 17-year-old, she was sure she wanted children. So when she fell in love with a girl, Gro thought: "Now, my mommy dream is much more complicated." But she never gave up.
-I wanted children with someone I loved. And it was girls I fell in love with. It would be wrong for me to opting out
love because I wanted children.
-Could you have chosen to have children alone?
-I do think thet I'm the type who could have done that. I never had a desire for it, because I think that children benefit from having two caregivers around them. But if it had been like that, I think that I would make sure that the child was surrounded by loving people. Fortunate, says Gro and smiles.
But where did this desire for kids come from? Why did 17 year old Gro Hammerseng in her room in Gjovikand just knaw the very back of the heart that having children was one of the most important thing in life? Mom Vigdis and Dad Arne must take most of the credit. The four children in the Hammerseng family had always heard that they were the very happiness itself and the meaning of life. Gro and her siblings got follow-up in all activities. Driving, pickup, volunteery work, baking cakes, ticket sales - you name it. Gros parents showed up. But they were also strict, they were clear about what they expected of their children. Gro gets a shade of pink over her voice when she talks about her childhood. That part of life, she will be happy to relive with her own children.
-All the parents I know gets a special look when they talk about their children. I also want to have that look, feel that joy. I am a family person.
-Why haven't you had children before?
-I thought "Now I can not wait any longer." The desire to have children has been so strong. But I am very pleased that I decided to wait and instead prioritized handball. Not until now has it been just right.
Not everyone agrees with that. Some believe Gro Hammerseng should not have children at all. "Gro harassed online 'it said on the front of the Her og Nå. By then, the debate whether it is right that lesbians and gays should be able to have children raged in various Internet forums. The fact that Gro was pregnant aroused strong feelings among the debaters.
-What do you think about that?
-I have not read it. I never google myself and do not read such debates online. I will not go into that world. But I unfortunately saw the headline in Her og Nå. I was at the gas station and saw the picture of myself and read the title. I saw the words "pregnant" and "harassed". It was inevitable.
-Did you open the magazine?
-No. I managed not to. But I received an sms from a shocked friend later in the day. Even then I managed to refrain from asking about what was actually written. I must protect myself.
-Du you get hurt?
-I know there are some people who think that I should never have children. I think that's sad. For me it's the happiness itself. I think it's amazing that I am having a child with Anja.
-Did you want to defend yourself?
-Not through the media. But I may well take the discussion face to face.
Gro is not afraid of confrontation. Rather that than go around carrying the anger.
-I have something inside of me that refuses to take sh!t.
Just like her mother she can be brutally hard and direct. As when she was out dancing with a girl friend in Sandefjord. They had funand fooled around. So when a man asked Gro if she wanted dance, she replied that she couldn't, because she was dancing with a friend. Apparently that one burned, because some minutes afterwards the same man came over and shouted into Gro's ear "If you hadn't thought that you were so delicious, you would have been more charming!" Then he turned on his heel and left. Back on the dance floor stood a furious Gro Hammerseng. A few minutes later she found him outside, smoking a cigarette. There she made a good, old-fashioned scene and yelled at him. When Gro concluded by saying that he should go home and be ashamed, it was very, very silent among the smokers outside the disco.
-I dont really like that cind of attention. Still I ejoyed myself, because I got to say just what I thought of his behavior. Had I been 20 years, that commentary would have crushed me altogether. Fortunately, I was 30 and only got angry. I have zero tolerance for anyone accusing me of being arrogant or thinking that I think I'm better than others.
Does anyone belive that?
-Yes, I have been told that I go with my nose in the sky.
-Do you have good self-esteem?
-Yes, and I'm happy for that.
But Gro also has the black days. When she feels tiny and can't get anything right. Believe it or not, so she felt during the last Olympics. Here at home we saw a confident Gro on the TV screen with a medal around her neck. What we did not see was that when she went off the court, she felt quite at the bottom. She only wanted to home. That was when Gro lured out her inner queen.
-Who is that?
-It is the confident, tough Gro. I want to radiate power, but I do not always get it right. Then I have to find the Queen feeling.
-How do you do that?
-There are specific techniques. Often I use the same methods in private life as on the handball court. Something that works well for me is to write. I write down all the gore. Makes some goals or agreements with myself to get back on track. In the Olympics, it helped me. After writing in my diary, I realized how lucky I actually was. I regained strength and the right attitude, my inner queen came out again.
The next year, Gro be will queen in her own home in Gjøvik. This is where she, Anja and the baby will live, close to Gros own mother. After the parental leave Gro wants to play handball again, but when she returns she does not know. What she know is that she will take her time to just be a mom, and she will have the most focus on the family, also after the handball career is over. Just what she wants to pursue then, she does not know yet. She owns an interior design shop at Gjøvik and may at any time begin to work there. But she also studied journalism, give lectures and take advertising assignments. Soon we'll see her in an Oral B campaign for dental care for pregnant women. No matter: work will never be the most important for Gro.
-I am not the type who's going to work myself to death because I want a career and earn lots of money. Luxury for me is time, and that time I will spend on my family.
-So does you and Anja plan to get married now?
Gro laughs. Of course she does.
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Neka dobra duša sa neta je sve ovo sa norveškog prevela na engleski.
pomirice se, takve ljubavi ne umiru...
...zna li neko igraju li ove dve?
Gde su te bore smejalice,gdee???
Procitah, svaka cast na prevodu...mnogo lepa prica. Gro je bas fina 