- 07 Maj 2007, 02:48
#789524
ovaj post je cini mi se odlican i dobar za svakog bilo da ga zanima dinamika ili ne-govori o opreznosti-
I don't know exactly what I want to say with this, so it may take me a while.
I am a girl. I have a Daddy. Whom I and who s me. Happy we be. & all that sappy stuff.
So it bothers me greatly to read about the abuse & exploitation of this dynamic. It seems directly connected to the way I see the Daddy-girl dynamic bantered about on this site, which often gives me the willies. Especially the single grrls, the ones desperately seeking Daddi. So many of the posts are needy, sad, and...
they also seem dangerous as hell. Sometimes I want to shake my sistahs and say, HEY! Don't you realize that ANYONE can be a cyber daddy? Come into chat and I'll prove it to you: "Sit on my lap babygirl, let Daddy stroke your hair. Good girl, that's nice, yeah, wiggle a little for me, baby...mmhmm..." Anyone can fill in the blanks of your fantasies, type the words, make you feel the rush. A realtime Daddy is a whole different thing.
Believe me, I know how seductive Daddy-ness is. I wish I could say I took all the proper precautions when I met mine, but I did not. We met through hys online personal ad (NOT here), "butch top seeks ..." The ad did not mention Daddy-girl dynamics & I had no experience with it, other than reading some smut. As part of my reply to hys ad, I wrote a couple of paragraphs describing our (imaginary) first meeting, in somewhat erotic terms. Hy wrote back with something like, "Tell me more, babygirl." Because hy'd said "babygirl," in the next installment of the story, I called hym "Daddy." It was that simple, that careless.
When we met in person (almost right away), both of us were looking for just a fuck. I said "Daddy" cuz it made us both hot. But, surprise, we got along too. And we had hit on something deep. We became lovers, boifriend and girlfriend, Daddy and girl. It's been nearly two years.
What can I say; I wasn't smart, I wasn't even looking. I was just pure lucky.
Lucky to find a wonderful Daddy, when I didn't even know that's what I wanted? Of course.
But also: Lucky not to find an abuser. Lucky to find someone who could be responsible for the power of that word, able to step into Daddy-ness with me in a caring, non-manipulative way, and negotiate through it, find out what I really meant and needed. Lucky to meet someone mature enough to stop me when I might have suspended my better judgment for the rush of Daddy's approval. Lucky to meet a responsible grownup, not a kid playing around with a power she didn't understand. Lucky, lucky, hella lucky.
So I look at some of the Daddy-seekers here and I think, Girl, you are asking for a world of hurt. I know they aren't protecting themselves, any more than I did. I should have checked references, had a checklist and negotiations, I should have done things very differently -- but I didn't. Most people won't, I suppose. & of those, many will not be so lucky.
If (goddess forbid) I ever find myself single in that way again, I certainly will take more precautions. But honestly, I don't think I'd be on a Daddy-hunt. I love being a Daddy's girl, but I think it's something that develops between two people, is either present or not. I feel like a lot of girls out there have this fantasy of what a Daddy is, what a Daddy will do for them, how a Daddy will make them feel -- and it isn't something a real person can do. It's a wish to abdicate the responsibility of being a grownup; maybe it's a hole in themselves that they're looking to fill. So it attracts predators & power-trippers, people who want someone who isn't whole? Maybe; just a theory, I don't know.
But I don't think it's as easy as blaming "bad" or "fake" Daddies, either. I think some of us are handing over a HUGE amount of power to another person, who may or may not know how to handle it. I experience my girl-ness, my submissive space, as deeply empowering; it has NOTHING in common with any experience of abuse. It's hard for me to understand how these things can get so confused in others' experience.
Cuz yeah we're girls, but we're grownups too, aren't we? And hey, kids are smart, they have better BS detectors than anyone. Why do so many of us *not* have that screen? Past abuse & trauma must be one factor. A sense of desperation in the search, maybe another. & maybe as women, we're well-trained to give up our power...
I'm left wondering, is there any way to prevent abuse, especially abuse that exploits this precious dynamic? Is there anything that will convince girls that, although Daddy-ness is seductive, we don't have to throw out all our better judgment at the first promise of a Daddy? Is the *need* (and here I'm not talking about sexual desire, but about emotional neediness ... dependence?) for a Daddy a healthy thing, in the first place?
) 
(opet ovaj smajlic, ali sta mogu kad ga voJim toJikooooo!!!!)
Odoh da citam!!!!! 
